


Reality is Best

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Multi, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Some angst, The Author is Salty, a little crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26958148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Tony makes an online discovery related to the two super soldier hunks he's dating.He is not impressed.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 32
Kudos: 205
Collections: Anonymous





	Reality is Best

“Yet again, I can confirm: I fucking hate people.” 

Steve and Bucky both jumped at the sound of their boyfriend’s voice, looking up at him from where they were sitting in the living room, watching TV. Tony Stark entered the apartment in a whirlwind like always, loud and brash and full of energy. Normally that energy was directed to productive outlets, like sex. Or inventing. Or sex. This time, however, he’d burst through the door in a seething rage. 

“Oh dear.” Bucky sat upright from where he’d been slumped on Steve’s chest. “C’mere, Tony. Let old Bucky make it better.” 

“Do not,” Tony began firmly, stabbing a finger at him, “ _ ever _ call yourself old Bucky again.” 

“Agreed,” Steve muttered, eyeing Bucky with a grimace. “Or refer to yourself in the third person.” 

“Fine! Jesus. Bunch of babies. Get your ass over here, Stark, and tell us what’s wrong.” 

Tony dropped into the spot between them with a furious scowl, clutching his phone in his hands like it had wronged him in another life. That’s how Bucky knew it was serious -- for Tony to be glaring at his beloved phone like that, a piece of technology Bucky often suspected was more dear to the inventor than his boyfriends. 

The grumpy brunet huffed. “Okay. You remember that conference we did, like, six months ago?” 

Steve nodded slowly. “Yeah, where we talked about the state of the Avengers and how the team is doing after the, uh, Accords fiasco.” Fiasco was a mild way of putting it. The Accords had nearly split up the Avengers for good, but Tony and Steve’s love had pulled them through as a team in the end. 

“Yeah-huh, and Buckaroo got it in his head to go off on a tangent about how  _ swell _ I am.” 

Bucky shrugged, as unapologetic today as he’d been at the conference. “It was our one year anniversary. How could you expect me to keep it secret?” 

Tony and Steve both shot him an exasperated glare. “You could’ve maybe stopped yourself before you said Tony’s done more for the team than the world could ever imagine.”

“Before you implied I’m offering sexual favours to the whole team,” Tony added succinctly, a small grin playing at the corners of his very handsome mouth. 

Bucky winced. “Yeah, okay, that was shit of me. But it was an accident! I didn’t realize the world would take it... _ that way.”  _ He shook his head in disgust. “I just meant you’ve done more for the Avengers than building us things and paying for upgrades.”

“I know,” Tony said quickly, sensing a brewing cloud of guilt over Bucky’s head. “I know, Buckster. It’s okay. People are dumb fucks, is all.” 

“Which brings us back to your previous statement,” Steve pointed out, draping an arm around Tony’s shoulders. Bucky pressed in to Tony’s side, watching with concern.

“Ugh!” Tony flung his hands in the air. “Yes! I fucking hate people!” 

“I’m obligated to point out that if anyone has a right to hate the general population, I feel like it’s me,” Bucky said thoughtfully, combing his metal fingers through Tony’s hair. 

“We can hate them together,” Tony promised, and Bucky kissed his cheek to confirm the compromise. 

“So,” Tony began with a deep breath. “Turns out, people saw the conference and, uh, maybe jumped to some conclusions that weren’t... _ entirely _ ...inaccurate.”

Steve met Bucky’s eyes over Tony’s head, suddenly serious. “Explain.”

“Well,” Tony continued, trying not to sound flustered. “You know, people online saw ages ago that me and Steve were kinda co-cheer captains of the Avengers squad, back when it was just the six of us.” 

Steve nodded. “Right.”

“And it’s no secret that Bucky and Steve have the reunion story of a lifetime. Like you could sell the rights to your love story and make a  _ killing.  _ You’d make Nicholas Sparks movies look like the daydreaming of a thirteen year-old girl.” Bucky snorted, and Steve hushed him. “Anyways, point is, some people got it in their heads that me and Bucky are in a sort of, uh,  _ battle  _ for Cap’s love. Like a who-will-he-choose thing.” 

Steve’s eyes went as wide as saucers, mouth falling open in shock. “They--they what?” 

“Oh yeah. That’s not even the surprising part.” Tony rubbed his jaw sheepishly. “Some people think there’s a triangle, but uh, other people… They kinda figured it out, I guess.” 

“What, you and me and Steve?” Bucky asked slowly, thinking about the implications of this revelation. “I guess we always knew it’d be a risk of the public finding out, Tony… Is this bad?” 

“No!” Tony said quickly. “No, nope, definitely not. Let me get to the point here. A few months ago, I found out there’s a not-insignificant number of people who gather online to...to, um…” 

“To what?” Bucky nudged him carefully. “Tony, to what?” 

“To...write fanfiction about the three of us.”

Dead silence fell over them, a hush that made the low volume of the TV feel loud. Bucky stared at the television, Steve looked at the ceiling and Tony stared at his hands. 

“Fanfiction,” Steve repeated in a squeaky voice. He coughed, cleared his throat. “I thought fanfiction was for movies and books and such. Not…”

“Not real people!” Bucky blurted, utterly scandalized. “Oh Christ, does that mean they write about us doing… Tony, what do they write about us?!” 

“A lot,” Tony confessed, tossing his phone away with a look of disgust. “I’ll spare you the weirder kinks. No, really Steve, you don’t wanna know. Don’t look at me like that. It was kinda funny at first, you know? When Jarvis alerted me to it, I had a good laugh, found the most popular story online and commented the shit out of it. I was gonna stockpile my favourites to show you, because that first one was a fucking delight, Steve. A de- _ light _ .” 

“Okay,” Bucky and Steve chorus. Bucky says, “But something changed?”

Tony slouched lower in the couch, scowling. “Yes,” he hissed. “Some of it is just pornographic. Like, talking about Steve’s massive schlong--” Steve yelped in horror, “--or Bucky’s talented mouth.” The brunet had the audacity to shoot Steve a pleased grin. “But  _ some  _ of them are heavier. Way heavier.” 

“Heavier how?” asked Steve. 

Tony’s eyes rolled skyward to the ceiling. “Oh, you know, extrapolating on interviews about my childhood, leaping to conclusions about how damaged I am. Making guesses about the Accords and Bucky coming back from the dead and how that factored into our  _ steamy _ romance."

“That’s kinda invasive,” Bucky mumbled with a frown. It felt icky to him, not dissimilar to how he felt when he found out people had written a  _ thesis  _ about James Barnes of the Howling Commandos. 

This was worse, though. 

Undoubtedly worse. 

“Kinda!” Tony agreed. There was a bit of a shrill note to his voice now, one that made Bucky and Steve worry. “At first, I thought maybe I was reading into it, but like… So many of them do the same shit! I’m always this...weirdo loser outsider who’s been pining after Steve while he goes and saves his one true love from Hydra.” 

“What?” Steve gasped, unreasonably outraged by this. 

“Yeah. Like most of the authors write you and me getting closer and closer after the Chitauri invasion, but then when Bucky comes onto the scene again, you drop me like a sack of potatoes.” It didn’t escape either soldier’s notice that Tony had gone stiff and sour during his rant. Both men curled around the smaller third, huddling against his sides. 

“That is  _ not  _ what happened,” Steve said lowly, firmly. There was a hard edge to his voice, one borne from a passionate need to remind Tony that whatever he had read was simply not true. "Remember? Tony, I came to you right away when I found out about Bucky being alive. Because we were  _ partners _ and I loved you then, and I love you still. And you were so amazing every step of the way."

"Weirdo loser outsider," Bucky echoed with a mighty scowl. "Clearly they don't know you're like eighty percent of the reason Steve and me were able to be intimate together at all, what with you forcing us to talk about our feelings every chance you could get."

"You're both very emotionally stunted people," Tony said honestly. "And that's coming from  _ me _ . Yikes."

"Rude," Bucky said, flicking him on the ear. 

The three of them fell again, and Bucky could tell Steve was letting Tony think about what he wanted to say next.

When Tony did finally speak, his whisper was bitter and frail. "So many of them made my relationship with you two feel secondary to the one you have with each other. Like...you wouldn't touch me or date me until you had experienced each other first." Tony coughed hastily, like his emotions had started to get the better of him. "I, uh, I've never really thought to be jealous of you two or anything. I mean, I've always felt  _ important _ to you. Which, hey, probably has to do with the fact that you haven't run off and gotten married without me or something." It took both men a second to understand Tony was referring to a fanfiction story he'd read.

Their reaction was immediate.

"Jesus Christ!" Steve thundered, appalled. "Of course we haven't done that! What functional relationship works like that?"

Tony continued like he hadn't heard. "And you never beat me half to death over the Accords and ran away together to Wakanda. That's a popular one." Steve groaned and dropped his face in his hands.

Bucky felt ill. "These are supposed to be  _ romantic _ stories?" he demanded. "Because it sounds like abuse to me."

"I know it's pretend, and I know it's just some people messing around, but…" Tony gave a half-hearted shrug. "It's still shitty to read. Reminder after reminder that your relationship really, truly, seriously predates mine."

"Now that's nonsense," Bucky swore. He took both of Tony's hands in his and held them tight, waiting until the other brunet was looking him in the eyes. "Tony Stark. You listen here. Your relationship with us is just as strong and good and valid as the one we share with each other. And I know you know that," Bucky said it like a warning, like Tony _ better _ know that, because it was, and he should. "But I also know sometimes we need to have things spelt out for us really clear. Like a nice reminder."

Steve pulled his hand off his face. "I can't believe you read all those, Tony." The blond turned to him with a frown. "Why didn't you stop?? When you saw how wrong they got it, why…"

"Because!" Tony blurted out, flustered. "I was hoping ones would come along that didn't make me feel like shit about the best relationship I've ever had, and yeah, there were some, but so many of them were just oozing angst and misery. I read one gem where Steve  _ left _ me behind to go after Bucky, and then I tried to kill myself, and then when you two finally came home, everything was just peachy keen again.  _ Fuck _ , that made me so mad!" 

"Assholes," Bucky swore, hugging Tony to his chest. Steve wrapped his arms around the pair of them. "I'd cut off my other arm before leaving ya. And you know damn well there's nothing that could'a convinced Steve to leave you. Not the Accords, and not even me."

"I have never abandoned either of you," Steve cut in firmly. "I don't plan to start now."

"See? He’s a stubborn punk no matter what size he is." Bucky kissed his hair. "Sounds like real life is way better than whatever is being cooked up online."

"For once," Steve agreed with a small smile. 

"Well," Tony said thoughtfully, draping his feet in Steve's lap so he could recline in Buck's arms. "There was one where we were all rockstars--"

Steve blew a raspberry into Tony's cheek, making him burst out laughing. "Okay, okay, we won't become rockstars!"

The three of them laid there like that for what felt like an eternity. No one spoke, but every now and then someone would kiss the hands or lips or cheek of one of the others. Tony playfully sucked the tip of each of Steve's fingers, one after the other, making the blond flush a lovely shade of red.

"We love you," Steve said finally. Bucky smacked a wet kiss to the top of their genius' head in agreement. 

"I know you do," Tony said fondly. He snuggled deeper into Bucky's arms, watching Steve with a heavy gaze. "Hey. Thanks for never saying things to me like 'I didn't want to fall in love with you,' or 'I tried to ignore how I felt about you', or 'I can't promise this will work out, Tony', or saying that you and Bucky are perfect together, but there  _ just might be _ room for me, too--"

"Tony!" Steve cut him off swiftly. "Please,  _ please _ don't read any more stories like those, the ones that upset you."

"Okay." That was an easy promise to make. Tony closed his eyes with a contented sigh as Steve stretched out alongside him. The pair were cuddled into Bucky like he was part of the couch. "You're right. Reality is way better."


End file.
